Husband of Faith

A Christian Husband's Perspective

Each month I will interview my husband, Rob. He will share his thoughts about our monthly theme. He will help Wives of Faith understand a husband's point of view. He will help us understand what our husband's need.

This is a huge blessing. I am very excited about learning more of what makes my husband tick!

An Interview with My Husband of Faith

By: Lara Velez

What's Cooking

What are your first thoughts knowing that the topic is cooking?

Rob: I'm hungry! What's for dinner??

Me: LOL!

As a husband, do you think it is important for a wife to cook meals?

Rob: She does not necessarily have to "cook." But...she should have something arranged for meals. Cooking it herself is not as important as making sure the family is fed.

Me: What about budgets?

Rob: Well, everyone's household budget is different. Not everyone can afford a live in chef.

Me: LOL! Darn!

Rob: Budgets make the decision on how extravagant the meals are and whom can prepare them. There have been many times when we had bologna and cheese, right?

Me: Yes.

Rob: Time is another factor that dictates how a meal is prepared.

Me: Ok, so basically what you are saying is that a wife should "manage" the meals, not necessarily prepare or cook them herself...depending on her budget?

Rob: Absolutely!

Deep down does a man want a home cooked meal?

Rob: Speaking as a man who had very few home cooked meals growing up, it does not matter that much to me. That does not mean it isn't important to another husband...

Me: OK, so if money was not an issue, you would not care if I ever cooked??

Rob: Correct

Me: You wouldn't miss anything?

Rob: Well, holidays of course, and I am sure you would still want to cook some things...

Realistically, most of us do not have the luxury of eating out or having food catered on a regular basis. That being said, most wives work with a budget that requires them to cook. What would your advice be for wives?

Rob: Variety is the spice of life! Speaking for myself, I do not like having the same five meals every week. For instance; corn beef Mondays, meatloaf Wednesdays, etc.

Me: LOL! I have that problem...not those meals though...a hint maybe? LOL!

Rob: Not that I don't think your food is good. It's just too much of a good thing. (grinning)

Me: ROFL!

Rob: And, you have to understand, my Mother never cooked. So, I had something different all the time...either out to eat or catered. That is why variety is important to me. I am certain I am not alone  in this.

We've all heard the phrase; "Meatloaf again??" Or, something to that effect.

Me: I am sorry for the meal monotony.

Rob: LOL! I forgive you, and I understand why you make the same things.

Me: Why?

Rob: It's easy and you like it.

Me: True.

Rob: Not that I don't like it. I would just like some more variety.

Me: I understand. :) Let's move on...LOL

Obviously, this is not something that will destroy a marriage. However, can it be an issue?

Rob: Yes. It can be an issue in the realm of finances and time.

For example, financially, if the money is tight, you wouldn't want to buy a bunch of food and let it spoil. You should be a good steward with the food that God provides. Only buy what you are going to eat!

As far as time, a wife may spend a lot of time cooking a meal and the affirmation that she receives about the meal does not live up to her expectations. She may feel unappreciated for the time she invested into the meal.

Me: What if her husband rarely or never affirms her cooking or is critical?

Rob: Cook more meat! LOL!

Me: LOL!

Rob: Seriously, what exactly do you mean by "affirm?" Do you mean when he's eating he is stone faced? Or doesn't say anything about the meal? Because trust me, a man will not eat the food he does not like...no matter who cooks it.

Me: I mean; "that was good," "Yum," or something like that.

Rob: OK, the only thing I can say to a wife who has a husband that does not say anything or is critical is -- try different seasonings, and look to his preference. If he likes spicy make spicy, if he likes sweet make sweet, and so on.

He must have a favorite meal. Start from there. Also, what does he order when eating out? Try making something like that.

Do you have any words of wisdom to offer for those wives who are also Mothers?

Rob: Well, to make meals that require as little stress as possible. Make something simple that everyone will eat.

Nutrition has to be a factor in the meal preparation. Prepare vegetables in a way that kids will eat them. Put cheese on the broccoli or something.

Don't fill them up on boxed foods, can food, or fast food. There is no nutritional value with those options.

Try having the kids help prepare the meal. They may be more inclined to eat it, and even try something new.

(thoughtful pause)

That's all I got!

Me: That is AWESOME advice! Thank you! :)

Do you have any closing thoughts?

Rob: Yes. For a wife to spend several hours in the kitchen making a meal for a man that does not appreciate it, the time would be better spent together over sandwiches and conversation. Time together is what really matters.

Preparing a meal is only the preliminaries. Enjoying the meal together is the main event.

Me: Thank you for your time and words of wisdom. :)

Rob: You're welcome. :)

Husband of Faith