Husband of Faith - Reverence

A Christian Husband's Perspective

Each month I interview my husband, Rob. He share his thoughts about our monthly theme. He will help Wives of Faith understand a husband's point of view. He will help us understand what our husband's need.

This is a huge blessing. I am very excited about learning more of what makes my husband tick!

A Reverence Interview with My Husband of Faith

By: Lara Velez

Reverence

I have decided to make June's theme reverence. I have done a study of the word and Scripture and I am amazed at what reverence really means.

Reverence - awe of, revere, a feeling or attitude of deep respect tinged with awe, the outward manifestation of this feeling. The thesaurus gave some more insight; honor, admiration, adoration, devotion, show honor and devotion to, look up to, respectfully cherish.

On the flip side; disrespect, dishonor, despise, scorn, mock, snap one's fingers at, disregard, hatred. 

What are your thoughts on reverence?

Rob: When reverence is a way of life, it is consistent and ongoing way of showing a husband love.

My Thoughts: Interesting. It is considered and act of love to our husband.

How have I not shown you reverence in the past?

Rob: When you have told me to "get out," or it's "none of my business."

Me: Ouch! So, when things have gotten rough and I told you to "get out," or when I have left you out of the loop on things you felt dishonored and disrespected?

Rob: Precisely, because telling me to "get out" is not preferring me. And, telling me that it's "none of my business" is contradicting to our marriage. You are my business. Everything about you good or bad is my business. The same goes for me.

My Thoughts: This was tough for me. I took a risk asking this question. However, it opened my eyes as to how my husband sees my actions and what my words say to him. I will do my best to show reverence to him in this area!

What can a wife do when she has dishonored her husband?

Rob: She needs to apologize. She should go through the 5 steps of apology.

My Thoughts: We learned about this from a great book The Five Languages of Apology: How to Experience Healing in All Your Relationships. We use the steps we learned and it really makes a difference. I'm sorry all by itself is not a real apology.

Below is a quick list for you.

1. Express Regret
2. Accept Responsibility
3. Make Restitution
4. Genuinely Repent
5. Request Forgiveness.

What are some practical examples for a wife to reverence her husband?

Rob: Include your husband in decisions. Even small ones like; dinner (chicken or steak), how to spend entertainment money, speak respectfully to him, don't yell or speak to him in a mean tone, notice something he is lacking and get it for him without him having to ask. That's honoring.

It is especially honoring when you show reverence towards your husband in front of others.

My Thoughts: We need to pay attention to how we think, speak, and act. If we obey God's Word and make a conscience effort to revere our husbands, God will bless our marriage.

Any Final Thoughts?

Rob: Yes. I have something to say to both husbands and wives...

For Husbands - It's very difficult for a wife to show reverence in making decisions if the answer usually tends to be; "whatever you think," or "it doesn't matter." Ultimately, your input matters. It undermines her attempts.

Me: You've done that to me.

Rob: I realize that I have done that to you. What I didn't realize is that you were trying to honor me, and I didn't even see it. So, I failed to receive the honor I would have received by your actions. Essentially undermining my own honor.

Me: I forgive you. :)

Rob: Thank you.

Me: Will you forgive me for pushing you away and dishonoring you in the past?

Rob: But of course...(grinning)

For Wives - Don't be discouraged when you try to honor your husband by involving him in decisions and you get the "I don't know." and "whatever" answers. Explain to him that you value his input and the honoring process the Word commands of you. Then it will be easier for him to understand why you ask.

At the same time, do not overwhelm your husband with questions. There is a balance here. It can become irritating to ask constant questions...at least for me.

My Closing Thoughts: We did not plan what we would say. I tell him what the topic is and ask the questions as they are typed on the page. We really did both come to a realization as we spoke. Sometimes, one person thinks they are doing the right thing and the other person does not see the motive behind the actions. That is why it is VERY important to have not only good communication, but to have it frequently as well.

I hope this has blessed you and opened your eyes to some things. Remember, these are only a few examples. You can use the core of what this is about to improve the areas where there is dishonor in your marriage.

Reverence your husband!

God Bless you and your marriages!

Until Next month,

Lara ;)

Copyright © Lara Velez

Husband of Faith - Reverence