Husband of Faith

A Christian Husband's Perspective

Each month I will interview my husband, Rob. He will share his thoughts about our monthly theme. He will help Wives of Faith understand a husband's point of view. He will help us understand what our husband's need.

This is a huge blessing. I am very excited about learning more of what makes my husband tick!

An Interview with My Husband of Faith

By: Lara Velez

Frugalness

July's theme frugal wives. What is frugal wife to you?

Rob: A woman who lives within her means, who tries to save money whenever possible, and who knows how to stick to a budget.

As a man, do you feel a burden of financial pressure?

Rob: Yes, very much.

Me: Give me a description of that pressure.

Rob: Think of a palm tree. Palm trees were designed very flexible. Think of the financial pressure as the winds of a Category 4 hurricane. Most palm trees will survive because they can bed,

Consider the oak on the other hand, those types of winds will most likely uproot it. Now, if it's uprooted, it will die.

As men, we are the hunter/gatherers. We provide for our families shelter, nourishment, clothing, and warmth. If we do not provide these things, we feel useless, like the oak that's been uprooted by the wind.

Me: Yikes

My Thoughts: This is a very real picture to me. A few years back we had a Category 3 hurricane go directly through our neighborhood. Hundreds of oaks were uprooted and just laying there...for weeks. Some of them were HUGE, and you couldn't believe it was uprooted like that. It was very sad. It's even sadder to think that our husbands feel that weight.

How does it make you feel when I want to eat out?

Rob: On the one hand, I understand why you want to eat out, and though I value you, I don't see any value in eating out.

Me: OK, but, how does it make you feel?

Rob: It makes me feel like I am wasting money, even though the time spent is enjoyed.

How does it make you feel when I spend money on items we do not necessarily "need?"

Rob: I'd like some examples.

Me: Like when we go to Target and I want to buy picture frames, items for the decor of the house, and/or any other "not needed" items.

Rob: When we are talking about items like these, that aren't necessarily needed, we need to put things into perspective. Will we gain any value from them? Are they useful? And, how do they make us feel in light of our long term goals?

Lara: OK, so what you are saying is that if what we are buying is not necessary for everyday life, or takes away from our financial goals -- we should not buy it.

Rob: No. What I mean is; a picture frame for example, we do not need it for everyday life, but the emotional value of the picture in it when it is hung up has to be considered.

Me: I am confused.

Rob: Here's another example; there was a situation where we needed a timer. We bought the timer, and never used it. Granted, the timer only cost $1.99, it is that type of spending that we need to avoid.

Me: OK, I get you. You are OK with us spending money on things that we need, things that have emotional value and things that we are actually going to USE that we need. Not using things that we buy, it NOT OK. Correct?

Rob:  Yes.

Me: let's go a step further. Let's say I need clothes. What do you consider UNreasonable for buying clothes or accessories?

Rob: Spending $300 and coming home with only two outfits.

Me: LOL--Please tell everyone that I do not do that!

Rob: No, you do not. You hardly buy clothes for yourself at all.

Me: OK, thank you! :)

My Thoughts: Rob wants us to save and not spend foolishly. However, he is more concerned on the items we buy being USED. All husbands are different, of course. You will need to have your own discussion to get to the heart of your man.

Should a wife keep her spending habits a secret from her husband?

Rob: No.

Me: What if she makes her own money?

Rob: Well, when you are married the Word says that "the two shall become one flesh." That applies to finances too.

Me: What if he's a miser, and she works hard and wants to get her hair and/or nails done on a regular basis? What should she do?

Rob: First of all, she should pray. Then, she should discuss the issue with her husband. She should let him know how she values her beauty spending and how it makes her feel.

Me: What if she does all that and he still says no...period?

Rob: She needs to continue to pray, and she needs to submit to her husband.

Me: Easier said than done!

Rob: I believe it...

Me: Any final thoughts?

Rob: Yes, earlier I mentioned that the two shall become one flesh. It is very important that your budget considers not only needed spending, savings, and discretionary funds...(pause)...You must be unified. Unity. You must have unity. Without it a budget is useless. It will be a source of contention and resentment.

Me: Thank You for your time

Rob: You're absolutely very welcome :)

My Closing Thoughts: I am far from the wife my husband needs in the area of finances. I learned a lot. I have let many things go to waste, and I have spent money on things that we never use. I am going to bring this matter to prayer and ask Daddy to not only forgive me, but I want Him to HELP me to learn to be more frugal and considerate to my husband in the area of finances.

You will be in my prayers as I hope I am in yours!

Have a FRUGAL month!!

God Bless you and your marriages!

Until Next month,

Lara ;)

Copyright © Lara Velez

Husband of Faith